Week 5/52

I always thought I'd start cooking when I had kids. I never really dreamed of a wedding or family, but could envision family dinners because that's one thing I loved from my childhood. Thus far I haven't done that great. I loved nursing and resisted feeding solids as long as I could because it's so much work feeding a kid. When I'm around Che drinks a lot of chichi and doesn't eat a lot of real food so I'm working on that. 

Look at that beautiful baby. He doesn't seem to love being worn and the sleepy dust doesn't work as easily on him, but we'll practice. 

Nursing a Toddler

When I was pregnant with Che knew I would do whatever it took to breastfeed. I never had a goal. I guess I had kind of heard about going until you both were ready to wean. I now have a nursing 2 year old.

As with the whole journey every week, every day seems different. I'm not sure if I've forgotten how it was to nurse a newborn but this little guy kicks my butt. It seems like some days were constantly nursing.

I do it because he's developing, going through new experiences and emotions. I feel like I can offer him a resting place when he is overwhelmed and his little mind is frazzled. I love the thought of boosting his immune system and giving him nutrients. I also plan to use it as a tool if he is feeling left out after his baby brothet arrives.

Nursing during pregnancy has been painful. Nursing aversion is so interesting to me. I'm usually okay nursing him throughout the day, but bedtime and nighttime makes me irritated.

This past week I needed to gain some control because I've been feeling overwhelmed that all Che wants is me. I've cut out nursing while he's watching TV. During random times I've uped my distraction game. I'm 8 months pregnant and like many things I've read, my supply is slowing. He'll tell me their empty pretty quickly. I use that as an excuse and make him wait until bedtime.

It's such a strange transition because I don't want to cut him off before the baby comes. One night while he was nursing I felt sad that I had denied him throughout the day and don't want this to end yet.

Francisca Tandem Nursed

Today while pumping I was reading this story about my co-workers niece who died in her sleep from Type I diabetes. I was feeling very grateful for my family's health, but sad for my friend. I decided to give my dad a call because conversations with him are so easy going. 

I told him I was on my break pumping and we started talking about breastfeeding. He told me a very special story about my Grandma Perea, his mother, who lived in Mexico. I don't feel like I got to know her very well because I was a little kid and didn't understand the importance of getting to know my grandma and distance and a language barrier didn't help. I often wonder what kind of person she was or if I'm like her. I find myself talking to her like my higher power to hash out my bad days. 

He told me he had a cousin his age whose mother got very sick and had to be in the hospital. This was in a small rancho in Mexico in the 60's, where they didn't have access to formula, so my grandma tandem nursed both boys. 

It feels really special to be able to openly talk about about nursing with my dad because I think many people find it taboo to talk about it with males. Sometimes he jokes with me when I visit that I better go outside and feed my baby. 

This story made my day, knowing how capable our bodies are to nurture and nourish.