Week 2/52

2/52 

Every other day Che wakes up in a good mood, saying good morning and being so loving. Other mornings he wakes up crying, needing to be comforted all morning. This particular morning he and I were the only ones awake and he wanted to go play outside. It was and exceptionally warm morning. We snacked and played. It was a really good time alone with him. 

Niko had his 1st bath with me while Che napped. He usually gets a bath in the sink but I wanted this experience with him since I often bathed with Che. It's just harder with the 2nd child because I never get a break from the 1st. I love this profile pic of him. He's so solid and beefy. He's a stinky guy. I don't remember Che stinking like Niko. I only bathed Che once a week; with Niko I need to do every other day.  

Is this Postpartum Anxiety

I don't know if this is PPA because it's not extreme, but it never crossed my mind after Che was born. I get these ugly feelings that I might lose my children. Like they are going to die young. I can't even imagine the grief. I get anxious to leave them for fear of missing out on minutes with them. Maybe it's coming from the guilt I'm feeling about going back to work.

I mentioned the guilt to my parents. I worry that the kids will feel sad and question why I leave them. My mom asked if I remember being sad when she left us for work. I do not.

52 Week Photos

Back when I used to read blogs, some bloggers would do 52 weeks of photos of their kids. I want to preserve memories I have of Niko & Che so I'm going to do it. I also think I'll be a great way to use my camera more.

Week 1/52

Che has been unlocking the house doors to let the cat out and discovering how to get up high, whether it's by pushing a chair over to what he wants or stacking toy bins. That means more baby proofing is needed. 

Niko is approaching two months, the newborn stage passed so fast, probably because we missed two weeks of snuggling an itty bitty. I love the back of his head. I like nibbling or caressing the skin, it's so soft. He's been making bubbles and responding to us with smiles. 

No Social Media Until 30

I turn 30 in 14 days. I'm really excited about it. I've decided to stay off social media until then. I want a chance to be more present and stop comparing my life to others. I've been keeping a food journal and some folders in Google Drive to keep memories but but I think I'll blog more too, for the memories. Phones are so addicting. Even though I deleted all my social media apps I am finding other ways to be distracted on my phone from journaling to reading news. I should probably stick my phone on a shelf and not use it unless it dings. I really like having it during down time though when kid cartoons are on. I'll looking for a balance.