Midwifery

I cannot pinpoint in my timeline when I became interested in midwifery, but I think it had to have been back in 2010 when I studied abroad in Guatemala. For some reason I feel like it was before this, but it couldn't have been because I had no reason to be thinking of child birth. 

Part of our trip was learning about the indigenous Mayan culture. We stayed in a Tz'utujil village where we did a Mayan cleansing ceremony. I was such a dumb youngster back then that I remember trying to hold in laughs while the shaman swatted my friends with plant leaves. Now I'm so interested in that stuff. 

We learned about the local comadronas or midwives. Form what I remember people in the village have different gifts or callings and being a midwife was one of them. If  a baby was born en caul or still enclosed in their amniotic sac it was a sign that they had the gift to help deliver babies. Midwifery in Guatemala is a hands on learned skill. While on this trip an 8 months pregnant mama-to-be went with us. A local midwife did an examination of her belly for our group. She confirmed that the fetus was about 8 and half months and I swear she said it was a boy. The parents weren't finding out until it was born and it turned out to be a boy. I was fascinated and talked to one of my new friends about it. He told me that his son was delivered by a midwife in our city back home. I had no idea and this opened a whole new world for me. I think this was the first time I ever heard about natural childbirth too, because that was the mom's plan.

Since then I've always scheduled my yearly check-ups with local midwives to get a feel for who I'd like to be my midwife when the time came. 

This pregnancy I decided to go with Rebecca Vance in Layton because I liked her and she was close to my work so I could easily make it to appointments on my lunch hour. I saw her 3 times before pregnancy and 3 times during. I remember during my first prenatal appointment I asked her if she had any doula recommendations and she replied that she couldn't even remember the last time she delivered with a doula present. I thought that was odd, but didn't worry too much. I also asked her if she would let me squat birth and she said that was fine but she had to do what was best for me and the baby. I understand that completely, but I still felt uneasy. After briefly mentioning this to a natural childbirth educator she told me to continue asking questions to see if she was the right fit for me, but ultimately I needed to trust my instinct. 

While reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth she hit the nail right on the head for me. "There are two distinct ways of thinking about pregnancy in the US, the midwifery model and the techno-medical model. Midwifery is female-centered, birth is something women do--not something that happens to them. The midwifery model of care recognizes the essential oneness of mind and body and the power of women in the creation of new life." Yes, and yes, that is so my thinking too. The model also conceives pregnancy and birth as inherently healthy process and each mother and baby as an inseparable unit. Emotions of the women have a very real impact upon the well-being of the baby.

On the other hand, the techno-medical model is male-derived and a product of the industrial revolution. The model assumes the human body is a machine and that the female body is a machine full of shortcomings and defects. Pregnancy and labor are seen as an illness, which in order to no be harmful to mother or baby, must be treated with drugs and medical equipment. That mean, drugs, cutting you, rushing you, and not acknowledging any mind body connection. I'm not going to get worked up and write any more about the techno-med model. If you want to read more check out Ina May's book.

After reading a portion of the book that explained how many midwives work for large hospital practices where the techno-medical model is the rule; therefore the midwife is constantly pressured to follow the techno-med model rather than a true midwifery model. Reading that I instantly  knew that was probably how Becky's practice was and it wasn't going to work for me.

Previously I had had a yearly check up with Christy Francis and had read through her blog. I thought it was pretty neat she had a blog and I actually sent her inquires about topics I wanted to hear more about and she either wrote a post about it or personally emailed me back. Now where can you find a practitioner that does that.

I started seeing Christy at week 21. I like that she does ultrasounds on every visit. I know there's controversy about that, but I like seeing my little guy. Christy was able to answer my question of which hospital will likely be able to suit my needs and wishes of having a natural birth. So far I'm feeling good about the birth team I'm putting together.

In the future I'd like to go to Chris Miller who specializes in home births, but for our first one my husband feels more comfortable being at a hospital in case we need medical attention. Also the downside of home birth or at the birthing center is we'd have to pay for it out of pocket, insurance won't cover it.

Gender Reveal

We found out the gender of our baby at 21 weeks. We were sure it was a girl, we even had her name picked out. As soon as the ultrasound tech put the wand up to my belly we saw. She asked us if we could tell what it is, but I told her no because I wanted to be sure what I was seeing; I had to hear the words come from her mouth. It's a boy. Tears ran down my eyes seeing our little guy up on the screen. 

It looks like he has Jose's nose and hairline. 

I didn't feel him move until 21-22 weeks because my placenta was in front. I think seeing him on screen and knowing his gender made it more real, so feeling him was easier. 

That night we went to tell our families. I made these scratch off lottery cards. The idea was cute, but it was a struggle for both families to understand what we were trying to tell them. Either way it was fun to share the news with everyone. 

Telling

We found out two days before Christmas and Jose was very excited to tell his family.  I on the other hand was more reserved. I didn't mind telling his parents, but I didn't really want to announce it to 50 people at Christmas. My fear was that what if it doesn't work out, I was only 4 weeks, way too early to shout it out. I read up on different opinions and there is a different view that if you do miscarry you have that many more people in your support system if you share the news. I imagined us telling everyone at his parents' for Christmas, recording it and it going well, but I backed out last minute. I felt bad because I could see how happy and excited he was to share the news, but I just wasn't ready. 

We didn't wait much longer and ended up telling both of our parents on New Years. I wanted to keep it small, but there were several aunts, uncles, cousins and a brother from church that also heard our news. Oh well I can't have it all. 

I seriously hate unnecessary attention and answering people's questions. I know that people are curious because they love us and care, but I didn't deal exceptionally well with sharing the news. At Jose's aunt's I was kind of detached and ended up being bratty to Jose because I was overstimulated and overwhelmed. 

I was nervous to tell my parents, but they genuinely seemed happy and excited which made me feel good. My mom was sick so I know our timing wasn't great, but I wanted them to know soon since we had already told Jose's family. 

Since then, telling people has been stressful for me. My mom wanted to know when she could shout it to the world and I told her she could tell her close friends, but that I was not ok with her blasting it on Facebook to fake friends until after we had a doctor's appointment. She respected my wishes. Again, I understand people are just happy and want to share the news. Maybe I'm too uptight. I just like control. 

After our 8 week midwife appointment my mom and father-in-law put it on FB. I braced myself for it and felt such anxiety checking peoples' comments. Everything was so nice and loving that it did make me feel more at ease. 

Even to this day at 18 weeks I'm still not cool telling people. At work people are starting to notice and chismear, but I don't want to come out and talk about it. I can't hide it for much longer, but don't expect me to shout it down the halls. If they want to know, the awkwardness can be on them and they can gamble the ask whether I'm pregnant or fat. 

Am I crazy? It just feels so personal to me and I don't know how to share the news. All responses I've received from people have been so loving. I think I'm just scared of feeling my feelings. 

In both families we gave something to our mothers. This is what my mom got. 

For Jose's mom we wrapped up a baby outfit she gave us at my graduation party and returned it to her with coming in August 2015. 

And Then You Wait

I guess they call it the dreaded two week waiting period. You've ovulated, now you're waiting to see if you get your period. I would say I wasn't extremely hopeful that the artificial insemination was going to work. They say you can try up to 7 times before you have to try more specialized fertility treatments.

We went to New York for the weekend. I didn't drink, just in case. I'm a big believer in no alcohol whatsoever during pregnancy and if you're trying to conceive why would you play around with alcohol if there's a chance you're pregnant. People do it, I'm judgemental, oh well. 

While we were in NY we went to Macy's to see the Christmas decorations. While we were there we wrote Santa a little message and put it in the mailbox so it could be sent to the North Pole. 

Around the time my period was supposed to start I had some pelvic cramping and my nipples felt tender, but I was just listening to my body extra closely and noticing PMS symptoms.  

On the day I was supposed to get my period I went to a yoga class and thought it was really unusual that after savasana, I usually roll to my right side, but that day I felt like switching it up and rolled to my left. The teacher prompted everyone to roll to their left if they were pregnant. That surprised me because I've never heard her say that. Why today? Could it have been a sign from the universe? 

I like to hold out on surprises and not spoil them earlier than I need to. I'm sure a part of me didn't want to take the early pregnancy test and be disappointed. I waited two days after my expected period date before testing. Even then I didn't want to, but Jose on the other hand can't wait for surprises. 

I peed and went about brushing my teeth. I was in too much suspense and didn't even want to look at the test. Jose came in and asked me what the answer was and I told him I couldn't look. He looked and it was a yes. He was so happy and teary eyed. I was in disbelief and very happy. 

Such An Adult

I feel like the adult I’d imagined I’d be. When I was younger I dreamed of having a career that involved traveling. Last week my husband and I were both on business trips. Jose goes out more often than I do and sometimes I don’t know when he’ll be back. A co-worker of mine thought that was so strange, but we are a very independent couple so it works for us. I mentioned my thoughts to Jose that I like my free time and that I can handle being away from him, he just laughed, because sometimes I’m an emotional, needy wife.  

I went to Las Vegas with five other co-workers for a seminar about updates to our banking platform. Not the most exciting sessions, but Vegas is always entertaining.

                                            Sleepy man                                     Waiting for everyone else to get to the hotel 

                           Working it on the strip, flip flops and all               So freakin' disgusting, the streets of Vegas

                                                            Catered breakfast & lunch                  My baby wearing obsession

            Row all to myself                                    KC & Eric 

                                               Getting ready                                                Me, KC & David

                             Dinner at Dick's Last Resort                                                      The hat says it all! 

     Not cool!!!

                                                        Sushi Night                                                    Absinthe

Eric won a video camera

This seminar happened to be the week before a three day weekend so I postponed my flight home until Monday. I caught a cheap flight from Vegas to Long Beach to spend time with my husband’s sister and family. I felt so happy there. I’m so grateful to call them my family. 

                                              Playing games                                                         She's so sexy 

                   Cali Sunset                                                        I started doing homework so Leah pulled hers out

                                                                 Hiking                                           Getting a massage from Jimmy

                                                     Bailey

                                                           3 footed kitty                                  Leilannie cleaning her room

                                                 Leah loves her puppy                                      

                                                  Hot from hiking                              Seeing how many grapes fit in his mouth

Monday morning I had breakfast with Jose’s best friend’s wife. I forgot to get a picture so this is all I have. She is 36 weeks pregnant and it’s a mystery as to what they’re having.

On the drive home from the airport I was telling my mom how interesting it is to be around teen girls. Not that they’re annoying, but it’s funny to remember that I was like that at one time. I told her how the whole car ride Lani and Jazmin were giggling non-stop, then she slapped me with, like you and Stela. Man I miss that girl.

Jimmy, Susie, Leah, Me, Lani, Jasmine, & Jaime at Famous Daves

I was happy to get home and see everyone, not so happy to catch up on homework. My way of unpacking is as I need something I get it out of my suitcase. My goal is to unpack by the end of the weekend. Hold me to it people.

Throwback Thursday: Baby Announcement X 2

Last Thursday I found out my cousin Rachel was pregnant so I had already planned to write this post with a throwback picture of her. Not even a week later her sister announced she’s pregnant. Seriously that is like a dream come true to be pregnant sisters. Okay…I probably don’t know what I’m talking about because I don’t have a sister, and I'd probably want all of the attention, but they’re not like that. I think it’s so fun that these two little cousins will be the same age and hopefully grow up to be best friends like we were and like this quote found a on Pinterest suggests, 

Grandma’s House

The place cousins go to become best friends.

I’m so happy and excited for them to have children. I’m the only one left out, but I can’t get distracted. Sometimes it seems like Spring 2014 will never come, but I know it’s coming at an accelerated pace and I have a lot of work to do.

Like I’ve previously said I like sending things through the mail. I found these cute cards for the parents-to-be and grandparents-to-be. My friend Crystalee recently wrote a post about cursive becoming obsolete so in addition to sending something by mail, I wrote in cursive. I use cursive when jotting down notes, but it’s something only I can decipher. It was a fun challenge to write legible and oh so pretty. 

 

For the grandparents-to-be

I didn't buy this one because it was only for a grandma-to-be, but I loved the words