On Hold

Last year on vacation Jose and I had a serious conversation about starting a family. Of course I was hesitant, but I decided to give it a try because all he's ever wanted is a family. I've been off birth control since last May and never got pregnant. It has been slightly frustrating, but I've been okay with it. I'm done with school and ready for the next phase of having a family with Jose, but some things have come up and we have to put this plan on hold. I feel really sad knowing I'm actively preventing conception and some days I think about not starting birth control at all because what are the chances of getting pregnant if I haven't in over a year. I need to follow through with this decision until things are back on track. I'm not looking forward to the weigh gain, I'm currently down to 144. I will gladly take clearer skin though. 

This is me today...

I Smile

Not giving up. Life it throwing blow after blow, but I don't want to ever go back to that dark place I visited last October through December. I'm in a good place career wise and education wise. Thanks to yoga I feel mentally strong. Even though I hate what's happened I still believe, like this blog's title, that we are where we're supposed to be. I'm learning. I'm growing. I haven't blogged in a while because I felt this suspicion that someone who is trying to hurt me may be reading. I came across this video on YouTube and just had to share. Writing is therapeutic and I need to continue so hopefully I post more often. A new season is here, I'm excited for warm weather and sunshine. 

Last Girls' Night with Jelem Until 2015

Our group of seven is about to become six for awhile until Jelem gets back from her mission in Virginia. We're excited for her, but we'll miss her. We just had a girls' night a week ago, but we forgot to take a picture and one friend wasn't able to make it so we had another one.

Ana made us a Peruvian dinner of aji de gallina, which is rice, potatoes, and chicken with Peruvian spices. It was my first time trying that type of food. It was really good, followed by pumpkin ice cream pie. 

Everyone's schedules are crazy this month. Miriam  is leaving to Mexico for a few months, Chelsea is going on vacation to the Dominican Republic and Jenny's niece had a drill team performance, so it was lucky that we were all able to get together last minute. 

We chatted nonsense late into the night. I didn't get home and into bed until almost 2AM. I must be getting too old to be doing that on a weekday because I felt tired and puffy eyed all day. Jose calls us grandmas because we sit around drinking tea and talking. We love our time together. 

Acupuncture

Lately I've been feeling like something is seriously wrong inside my head. I question if I've made the right decisions in life and if I should keep following this same path or make a major plot shift. I've been pretty stressed and full of anxiety. I contemplated medication, because I can't handle these irrational thoughts and elevated heart rate. My body is crying out that it's stressed through a very tense shoulder, a cold sore and a period that has lasted almost 2 weeks. Some hours I'm calm, some I'm numb, and others I'm on fire, lashing out. I don't want to be around people, social situations make me really anxious right now. 

I've always wanted to try acupuncture, but never needed fixing, until now. There's an acupuncturist right across from my work. I wandered over there to set up an appointment. I met the doctor and really liked her. She was a former health educator so we connected on that level. Chinese medicine is totally different than western medical beliefs so it takes openness to try a new approach to healing the whole body. I had my assessment and I'm being treated for allergies, shoulder tension and my emotional distress. She let me vent and I let her do her thing. I'm not sure if it was having someone to talk to, the acupuncture itself or just all in my head, but I left her office feeling so relaxed and I couldn't stop smiling. 

She wants to see me for a few more sessions. My insurance doesn't cover it, so it'll be an out of pocket expense, but it's something I want to try. Has anyone tried acupuncture? Share your experience with me. 

Mary Kay Girl's Night

My friend and sister-in-law Estela set a date for her wedding, so to celebrate we had Hollie Holley pamper us with Mary Kay. I loved the wedding talk about photo booths, dresses, and honeymoon destinations. She's going to be the most beautiful bride. Weddings get me so excited because making that commitment and having someone vow to spend their life with you is so precious. Let the 10 month countdown begin. 

Me, Stela, Zuly, & Liz

Ms. Health Educator

It's finally happening. Two years and four months after graduating with my bachelors I landed a health educator job. It feels good knowing I can end the search and be done with all of the interviewing.  At the beginning of March I went to the first interview, but wasn't very hopeful because you have to make it into the top 5 to be considered. I'd interviewed with this county before and was number 8. This time I made it into the top five and got called for a 2nd interview where I had to give a 10 minute presentation. They said they'd decide within two weeks, but called back three hours later offering me the position. I was beyond excited, but skeptical after what happened with the last job offer. 

It's starting to feel real after saying goodbye to my co-workers at TAB. We had a nice going way lunch at Wing Nutz and dessert at Beyond Glaze. I am really going to miss them. My bosses were sad as the sent off another one of their babies, who came to them so innocent, into the world. Somedays were hard, but I am leaving with so much gratitude for what I learned and the chance I had connect with so many people in the past three years. 

I hope I'm not too excited that I can't get a good night's rest. This is what I've work so hard for and it's finally mine, so you better believe I'm going to go in there and exceed their expectations.

March Mantra

(Made with S Note)

I realize we're already halfway through March, but I wanted to throw this out there. I've taken on a lot this semester and in order to balance it all I'm going to have to be selfish and do what works for me. I won't go into anymore detail because this will end up being a bitching post and you don't need that. 

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Updated YouTube Channel

I recently went to Peter Shankman Takes Utah hosted by the Social Media Club of Salt Lake City and aside from the humor, I took away two things from Peter that I want to place more emphasis on in my life.  

The first was to reach out to people when you don't need anything. I feel like I already do this by visiting people when I'm in their area and texting or calling them when I'm thinking abou them, but I can always do better. 

The second thing he talked about was using video. It's so easy to record footage on our phones and share it. Every once in awhile I'll record, but only recently have I started understanding what a great way it is to preserve memories far beyond what a photograph can do. People are looking for an experience and video is a way to give them that experience. He also mentioned how important it is to put your name on your work just in case you go viral. 

This past week I had been thinking about my sister-in-law and reached out to her just to say hi. She told me how fast life goes when you have children and how amazed she is with all the new things her kids are learning. I mentioned that she should record some videos and share them. A few days later she emailed me the cutest video of her 2 year old daughter cleaning her room and making her bed.

I started thinking about the videos I've recorded but never shared, so I started uploading them to YouTube, 107 videos later I finally finished with what I recorded between 2006-2012. I'm pretty sure Jose thought I was nuts laughing uncontrollably at things that probably aren't funny to anyone but me and maybe the people in them. 

There's a huge range from teen years, church choirs, and family time. Now that they're backed up everyone can share in the memories and I don't have to worry about them accidentally getting erased and lost forever from my hard drive. 

Check them out, maybe you're in one. 

New Phones

Our phone contract is up in March so we've been planning on getting new phones. When the iPhone 5 came out we really thought we wanted it, but as the time got closer we started exploring all of the options. We stopped by the mall to check out phones and to get an idea of how much we were going to spend. Of course the salesman told us we were actually eligible for the upgrade at 20 months rather than 24 months. We liked the HTC DNA, but after reading more about it the battery life sucks and it doesn’t let you add extra memory.

This is strange but after we looked at phones we noticed that our current phones started messing up more and more. Everything would force close and they were going really slow. Facebook just kept shutting down, and it had never done that before. What if it’s some kind of conspiracy that when you’re due for an upgrade your provide fucks with you OR it could’ve been all in our heads because we wanted the new phones so bad. I suggested we wait until March like we planned so we could finish saving up. Once Jose sees something he wants he CANNOT wait, every day I would hear about some new feature on some new phone. I think it got to me because I caved and we went to buy phones.

We decided on the Samsung Galaxy Note II. It’s huge when you first hold it, but now I don’t think I could go back to a baby screen. The large screen was appealing to me because I like to read on my phone. Jose watches a lot of video on his so it’s perfect for that. It comes with a stylus which is fun. You can draw and it converts your handwriting into text. It’s fast with its quad-core processor. It has cool motion and gesture features that let you make calls just by rotating it or screen shots by swiping your hand across it. I love the 22 hours use battery life. There are probably so many more features that I’m not taking advantage of yet, but I have two years to discover all it can do. 

Old Thunderbolt next to our new phones

Stormy Christmas

This Christmas was unlike any I've experienced so far. We did the usual Christmas Eve dinner at The Vigil's, Christmas Eve at the Angulo's, and Christmas morning at the Perea's. I've hardly understood why my parent's siblings can't come together anymore for Christmas, but I'm starting to see it among my own generation. I've always imagined that a bond between brothers and sisters could not be broken, but this season three of our siblings weren't fully present. I think it sucked, but I tried to stay focused on enjoying those who were there. I wish I could see what lessons we're supposed to be learning or the outcome of all of these emotions. Oh the joys of constantly changing and growing. One thing I've observed is talking about an issue is much more productive than going on for years assuming or ignoring it. Check back in years to see if I've changed my mind. 

I didn't take as many pictures as usual this year, instead I did video clips that I want to use to make a video of this Christmas. When I finish it I'll share it with you all.

Here are a few of my favorite Christmas memories of 2012.

My youngest niece & nephew

Shredding meat for tamales

Christmas Eve at the Angulo's. The kids couldn't wait until midnight so we opened presents around 11 pm.

My mom and grandma Christmas morning

Hey look, my brother made it after all. We worked around his work release schedule so we did Christmas at 6 am.

Sledding

Jimmy & Leah

Angulo girls minus Leah who was mad at Janeece for taking her ball

With this last picture I just want to take the time to talk about how sweet my man is. We don't usually buy each other gifts, but he drew my name so he gave me my gift along with an expression that I deserve so much more. Then he woke up at 5:30 am on Christmas morning so we could get to my mom's to spend Christmas with my brother. Then after a nap we went back to my parent's house for dinner. I appreciate him being so funny and inappropriately entertaining. He even put up with our sit around the table family fights(discussions).

More Than Just A Loss of Twinkies

Friday while so many were concerned about no longer being able to buy Twinkies, 18,5000 Hostess employees lost their jobs. Here in the local area 600 were laid off from the Ogden plant including one of my cousins and two uncles.

My family has had a long working history with the Ogden plant starting with my dad who was there for 18 years, my Tio Nato, Tio Poncho, Angel, Tiffany M., Tiffany V., Randy, and Kiki.

When I think of Wonder Bread I think of my childhood. I remember the smell of my dad coming home smelling like bread and sweat, yayas between his toes(maybe I only remember this because they tell me I would clean the fuzz out when he got home). I remember we always had bread in the house and buns for parties. My dad would hardly ever bring Hostess things home because they're not healthy for you, and now I can appreciate that.  My favorite were Raspberry Filled Donuts and the Chocolate Frosted Mini Donettes.

I can't imagine how scary it is to have a family to care for and lose your job. I hope those laid off are able to find work soon.

Look Who's Moving to Bolivia & Chicago

This weekend I said adiós to two inspirational men. I’m excited for the new experiences they're going to have and wish them the best. Don't give up and remember that there are people back home who love and support you.

Saul

Saul is on his way to Bolivia to serve a mission for the LDS church for two years. I’m really excited for him to be doing something positive with his time. I think missions are great for boys because they move out of mommy’s house and learn sacrifice and independence. Saul really impressed me with the speech he gave on Sunday at church. He was well prepared and is a natural public speaker. I’m going to miss walking over to Smith’s on my lunch break to hanging out and catch up. I look forward to receiving emails soon about his journey. Here are a few picture from his farewell events.  

 

Going away dinner with the cousins. Jose, Bro, Saul, Priscilla & Nene

Marisela, Ponchito, Marky Chon, Saul, Priscilla, Stella

Bolivia

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Luis

I met Luis about 8 years ago when we both belonged to the Apostolic Assembly.  We’ve had some fun and strange times. I can’t express enough how proud I am of his academic success and personal growth. He recently graduated from the University of Utah and is now on his way to Chi-Town to get his Ph.D. at Northwestern University.

Back when Luis was in high school I had to help him with his math.

Homework got boring so we made rice krispies.

Bye Luis!

Yay for technology I'll be able to keep in touch with both of them. I can't wait to see fun pics on Instagram Luis.

Birthday Wishes Through The Mail

I don't know about you, but I enjoy receiving something fun in the mail. With our fast paced forms of communication it's easy to post a birthday wish or send a quick text, but when it comes to the special people in my life I like to send them something in the  mail. 

I have nieces and a nephew in another state and we miss out on being there to celebrate their birthdays. I want them to remember that they have and aunt and uncle who adore them and enjoy watching them grow into smart, good-looking, funny people. 

Our oldest niece, Leilannie turned 14 in May. I remember being fourteen in 2002. That was one of my funnest adolescent years. When I hear songs that came out that year I drift back to that summer and all of the fun times. I remember that was around the time my mom stopped going to church, hard to believe it's been 10 years. I think since she stopped she was a little more lenient and open-minded. I was finally allowed to hang out with friends. I loved all of my junior high friends and even had my first little boyfriend ha ha. 

*SNAP*SNAP*

Okay back to the present. I struggle with b-day gifts, but I remember Lani liked my no-show socks from Journeys so we sent her a couple packs and some money. 

Check out this awesome girl!

Next up is Jimmy. He is the sweetest, happiest, easy-going boy I've met. I only hope my kids are as enjoyable. Here's the cool dude with the big birthday card we sent him.

The most recent one was sent out to an old friend. We don't talk anymore, but I wanted her to know I still think of her. This was totally passive of me, I didn't even sign my name. That's one thing about being best friends though, you know each other's dislikes. She has some kind of issue with multiple eyes and she knows what gives me the creeps. I glued each eye on just for her. We've always gone back and forth tormenting each other like this. I'm not looking forward to what's in store for me.  

I know takes a little more time and effort to send something by mail than it does posting on Facebook, but I really enjoy sending and receive correspondence the old way. 

Throwback Thursday: Baby J Video

July 5, 2011

This is a video of my youngest niece Janeece when she was 10 months old. Her Nana, my mother-in-law, taught her how to get off the bed. This was a fun day hanging out with all of the girls, Stela, Nana, and my oldest niece Lani. I miss my cute niece, but I know her mama loves her so much and is doing what is best for all of them right now. 

An Awkward Affair

Why do things have to be so awkward. I just saw someone that as a couple we've decided to let go of, because they've let go of their self-respect and our relationship. We aren't like everyone else that's turning a blind eye and pretending nothing happened or that it won't happen again. I feel like a horrible person for  hesitating when I have a feeling that I should contact them (are you hurt? are you depressed?) and for not trying harder, but you can only try so hard. It's bitter to say that they're not our concern anymore, let the new people in their life make them happy. We don't accept the actions or the choices, but we'll never shut our door if help is needed. I constantly struggle with letting go...

Good Bye Castañeda Family

Three years ago Castañeda, Maritza, Erica, Jonathan, Bianca and Eli(inside the belly), moved to Utah from California. I learned that the family was moving back to California when Alejandra ask me to take friendship pictures of her and Erica. 


Last Friday I met up with these cute girls and took some fun pictures to try to document their friendship. I couldn't help but smile and reminisce about my best friend who moved here from California, unfortunately people grow up and apart. I hope with all of my heart that they can continue to support each other and remember all of the good times they had together. 

Here are a few of my favorites