Monday, April 6, 2015


We found out two days before Christmas and Jose was very excited to tell his family.  I on the other hand was more reserved. I didn't mind telling his parents, but I didn't really want to announce it to 50 people at Christmas. My fear was that what if it doesn't work out, I was only 4 weeks, way too early to shout it out. I read up on different opinions and there is a different view that if you do miscarry you have that many more people in your support system if you share the news. I imagined us telling everyone at his parents' for Christmas, recording it and it going well, but I backed out last minute. I felt bad because I could see how happy and excited he was to share the news, but I just wasn't ready. 

We didn't wait much longer and ended up telling both of our parents on New Years. I wanted to keep it small, but there were several aunts, uncles, cousins and a brother from church that also heard our news. Oh well I can't have it all. 

I seriously hate unnecessary attention and answering people's questions. I know that people are curious because they love us and care, but I didn't deal exceptionally well with sharing the news. At Jose's aunt's I was kind of detached and ended up being bratty to Jose because I was overstimulated and overwhelmed. 

I was nervous to tell my parents, but they genuinely seemed happy and excited which made me feel good. My mom was sick so I know our timing wasn't great, but I wanted them to know soon since we had already told Jose's family. 

Since then, telling people has been stressful for me. My mom wanted to know when she could shout it to the world and I told her she could tell her close friends, but that I was not ok with her blasting it on Facebook to fake friends until after we had a doctor's appointment. She respected my wishes. Again, I understand people are just happy and want to share the news. Maybe I'm too uptight. I just like control. 

After our 8 week midwife appointment my mom and father-in-law put it on FB. I braced myself for it and felt such anxiety checking peoples' comments. Everything was so nice and loving that it did make me feel more at ease. 

Even to this day at 18 weeks I'm still not cool telling people. At work people are starting to notice and chismear, but I don't want to come out and talk about it. I can't hide it for much longer, but don't expect me to shout it down the halls. If they want to know, the awkwardness can be on them and they can gamble the ask whether I'm pregnant or fat. 

Am I crazy? It just feels so personal to me and I don't know how to share the news. All responses I've received from people have been so loving. I think I'm just scared of feeling my feelings. 

In both families we gave something to our mothers. This is what my mom got. 

For Jose's mom we wrapped up a baby outfit she gave us at my graduation party and returned it to her with coming in August 2015.