I'll admit I was nervous for this Thanksgiving. I was making up in my head that it would be awkward and people would be judging me. It was nothing like that, it was actually really good.
During my yoga practice on Wednesday the instructor made it really fun by giving silly names to the poses like the crescent roll, turkey pose and stirring the mashed potatoes. During savasana she had us send energy to someone we cared about, but wouldn't be able to be at our Thanksgiving table, perhaps due to distance physically or because of family dysfunction. I could relate. She also had us send energy to a loved one who was no longer with us. I thought of my Grandpo Perea and missed him dearly. To me it seems like a weird coincidence, but during dinner everyone was laughing at memories of Chon Perea. I love that we were able to share about the man who made our family possible.
We didn't do our traditional going around the table and saying what we're thankful for because some people ran off and didn't want to participate. It's not my favorite thing, you're vulnerable, but I do see it's value. My mom sent out a message a few days later saying what she was thankful for. I went next, "I'm thankful that you all love me. It's such a good feeling to know that I have people that really care about me. Second, I'm thankful for my yoga practice. It's easy to spend too much time being angry about the past and anxious about the future. I hope to continue learning to breathe & enjoy each present moment because that's the only moment that really matters, especially when it's spent with my family." I wish everyone else would've participated, but that's okay.
It blows mind to think of where I'm at this year compared to last year, or even compared to last week. It's hard, but good. I have to keep growing and sending out love and accepting love.